Workout number three and it was time to ramp it up. Oh, less clothing means less sweat! Who knew?
Poised for action in shorts, a strappy top and trainers with one sock to cover up a semi-blister from yesterday’s mammoth 15,969 steps I was ready for the barbell.
Mr W wanted to add weight on the first workout and I point blank knew that my legs are really struggling with the barbell back squats. It was only yesterday that my legs felt normal after last week’s two workouts. I think Mr W believes I can do more. But I see this as a marathon not a sprint.
Stepping up to the bar and moving downwards, my legs instantly refused to squat lower than I wanted to push them and the 7kg bar resting on my shoulders was the last thing on my mind. A set of 5×5 squats later and mind over matter was not present. My squatting resembled nothing similar to what I have seen from others online. Rome wasn’t built in a day. And I need to remind myself of this. One squat at a time.
Next up, the barbell bench press, laying down feels good. After a busy day yesterday I could definitely have a nap. But no relaxing just yet. Mr W has fashioned a barbell rack out of some timber and even though he keeps an eye on me, ya know in case I drop the solid metal bar on my face, it allows the feeling for control over your whole space. He added two 1kg weights to the baras last week’s set proved really quite simple. Straightening my back on the bench to keep my shoulders level, I raised the new weight of 9kg above my face and into the sky. Counting to five, I only wobbled at ‘3’. The weight isn’t the issue, the control of the motion becomes wobbly at times. I am not coordinated. It is, however, fascinating to breathe in and out to calm your mind so it can guide your body to control its own muscles. It takes you inside your being. I am finding it more interesting than I thought I would. That is, until a flock of seagulls flew overhead and I found my eyes following them.
Barbell deadlift next, 7kg bar with an added 6kgs of weight. Hello 13kg. Kept my arms straight this time, Mr W pointed out the extra weight would help with this technique and it did. This set is still really boring. Although, I imagine with more weight, all in good time, this will become more challenging and therefore enjoyable.
Barbell overhead press, 4kg was removed here, very smart considering the bar would be above my face while I stood beneath it. Up, down, up, down. All very good and almost… ah, I’m going to say it, fun. I found my control here at its best and therefore I was able to move my arms faster than the other workouts. This was also the case for the ‘row’ movements.
It feels good to be moving my body, feeling the after effects and yet still really enjoying it. I am working with my body and I don’t feel like I am punishing it. I wonder if there will be a day when I look back at this and utter the words, ‘oh you naive fool.’
As someone who needs to lose weight to qualify for fertility help from the NHS, who is trying to love herself and also keep exercising while keeping it as low impact as possible whilst recognising that it also needs to burn fat, you can imagine working out is really quite a challenge.
The NHS wants my BMI to be lower in order for me to qualify for the next stage of fertility help. The medication I hope they give me will force my ovaries to release eggs at the opportune time in the hopes that I’ll fall pregnant.
Having hated my body since I can remember I have recently discovered a podcast where loving yourself is the name of the game no matter what size and shape you are. (Link below) Their very motto is ‘the way you look is the least interesting thing about you’. As you can imagine it takes a lot to recondition your mind after 25+ years of self hatred. I’m no way near loving myself but I am starting to realise that my value has nothing to do with my weight. My thoughts, kindness and ability to love is not weighed on the bathroom scales. It is not in my dress size. I have touched on this before in my ‘Wear the damn shorts’ blog. (Link also below). Recently I have branched ever so slightly outside of my comfort zone when it comes to clothing. Granted I’m wearing dresses but I’m actually liking the clothes I am wearing rather than picking them just because they fit.
Due to my everlasting need to find the best way to live with my Pcos I have spent a rather large amount of time on forums etc. There are pages of advice on supplements and tips to lessen the symptoms of this condition. One of the symptoms is weight gain and in order to control this weight there are several things you can try. There is no guarantee. If you want to lose weight there are many trialled and tested tips out there and you just have to see what works for you. Last year, Mr W and I conquered the NHS couch to 5k programme. I was so chuffed with myself. I finished without any wobbles. We restarted the programme this year and, whether it was my body or mind, I simply could not do it. No amount of telling myself I had done it once before, meaning I could do it again, could break through the self doubt barrier and I stopped. I’ve looked closer at exercises and workouts I can do that won’t place stress on the cells of my bodys, causing more flare ups of this condition, and Mr W and I have started weight training. The key, apparently,is to do low impact workouts for a maximum of 15 minutes. No wonder running for up to 30 minutes wasn’t doing anything for me. Go figure.
It is quite the conundrum. Love myself regardless of my weight. Change my weight to suit the bureaucracy of the NHS. And find the perfect exercise that will keep me interested, losing weight and my body stress free.
Mr W compiled the below information for me to look at:
A 5×5 workout comprises compound barbell movements — like squats and deadlifts — using heavy weights and lower repetitions per set. As the name implies, a 5×5 workout usually involves 5 sets of 5 repetitions.
The goal is to build strength in compound movements by adding weight every time you do the workout. You’ll only do these workouts 3 times a week, as the rest days in between workouts are crucial to encouraging muscle growth.
The barbell movements are as follows:
barbell back squat
barbell bench press
barbell deadlift
barbell overhead press
barbell row
The combination of these movements works most of the large muscles in your body.
So if you are into weight training, the above will make sense to you and you may as well skip the next few paragraphs. So a barbell is a long bar of metal on which you can fix weighted discs of metal. Our barbell is 7kgs and while I get used to the exercises themselves we are just using the bar. In time, weight will gradually be added to increase the training.
At present, Mr W does 5 reps of the first exercise, then I do 5, then him and so on until we have each completed the 5 sets of repetitions. Then we move onto the next exercise.
Barbell back squat – this involves the bar being held around the back of your head, across the top of your shoulders while you squat. This workout is a bitch. After two sessions my muscles on the topside of my thighs are screaming! Walking up and down the stairs, even sitting down, is not fun right now, but I’m kind of glad of the pain. It makes me realise the workout is actually doing its thing!
Barbell bench press – this one has you laying down on a workout bench and lifting the barbell up above your body and down again. So far, it’s not too bad, I’m not sure if my body is feeling the benefits and it may mean adding weights to the bar sooner rather than later. The biggest flaw right now is keeping the bar straight. All in good time!
Barbell deadlift – now, this move I could not get my head around. You are basically lifting the bar from ankle height (in the future when weights are on either end, the weighted bar will be able to sit on the ground) and lifting it to your hips. Keeping your arms straight and bringing your hips forward to meet the bar. It is supposed to loosen your hips. In our first session I couldn’t get my head around the straight arms before seeing that my back was also straight. In order to achieve the move, you need to slightly bend your back and knees. Before straightening fully. Today’s second session was much easier. Eureka!
Barbell overhead press – relatively easy now, but i know once weight is added, I’ll regret saying it. You stand straight and lift the bar from your shoulders straight up into the sky. As we stand in the garden, I am able to watch its progress as it meets the sky and my eyes line it up with the roofline of our house. Slow and steady.
Barbell row – so far this move has stumped me. It doesn’t feel like my body is working to achieve it. You stand legs straight, bent over at the waist. Barbell in hand you move it towards the ground and back to your chest in a rowing motion. In order to not fall over, it helps to raise your head slightly. We watch ourselves in the large window in front of us and it definitely helps. Today, I moved my hands further inwards, towards the middle of the bar, and I felt the muscles in my shoulders working.
After our second session, my second ever, I can say I am finding it enjoyable. Nothing gets in the way, no bouncing boobs are threatening to derail my balance. There are no threats of a dodgy pothole making me fall. I am in complete control of the bar and it makes me feel so much more connected to my body. Running took me outside my body and all I saw was my legs acting of their own accord. I was connected only to doubt. With the bar I am in charge. The pains in my legs will hopefully subside and I like to think that as my interest and ability grows then so will my confidence in intuitive movement. I want it to feel good to exercise because then there is then more chance that I will stick to it. Right now, I am seeing it as a challenge. I just have to work it out.
Framework Travel 