He knew

I’m known by my oldest and closest friends to be very quiet in the mornings. I have a ‘quite frankly, leave me alone’ demeanour, considering the fact I’m quite ready and willing to be up any time before 9am, it’s something that has improved over the years. Even now, I rarely talk to Mr W within the first hour of waking. The people that know me understand but I often find strangers think I’m rude. I don’t mean to be. When I’m properly awake I don’t talk to strangers either. There’s a shyness there. An inability to strike a conversation out of thin air. Often, I think, why would they want to talk to me? 

A 6am walk around Thetford forest, Norfolk, a few weeks ago, saw us frozen by foot but warmed by heart. The frosty ground thawed in front of us as the sun peeked between the trees. It was a beautiful morning. Something a complete stranger took a moment to remark to us as he walked his dog. A complete stranger. 

Today, in Colombia Road, London, a queue formed for a doorway serving coffees and pastries. In my hands I held the plants and flowers my heart could not leave behind. Behind us, a small child stretched his neck out of his buggy to see the world speeding by. He became completely enthralled by my Dad chatting to Mr W. I told them both they had a spectator and the child was brought into the fold with a cacophony of hellos as I wandered away to window-shop. Coffees in hand, we made our way through the neighbourhoods and the buggy, boy and father caught up with us, my Dad continued talking to him as if they’d met before. Talking about the area, coffee and doughnuts. It didn’t delay our return to the car, but it added a touch of ‘something’ to the stroll.

Later in Greenwich Park, while Dad and his partner wandered over to the meridian line, Mr W and I looked down the hill towards the Maritime Museum, across the Thames and beyond. We took our photos, revelled in the small droplets of rain and snuck a kiss by the blossoming chestnut trees. As he returned to us, Dad called “put her down”, followed by the laughter of another two complete strangers. They had not seen us, but having been stood only metres away thought the remark was meant for them. The six of us stood for barely 2 minutes laughing over the confusion, and jokes about us “getting a room”, until we departed. A simple interaction. But an interaction with strangers nonetheless. 

It gave me a smile. Small stuff like that usually does. It got me thinking about the joys of the ‘small stuff’. 

A copper stovetop kettle sits in our loft. Intact but dusty, we outgrew using it within a year of buying our home. You see, with a stovetop kettle, water for a cuppa takes at least 15 minutes to boil. At first the novelty was the point, but as time went on and visitor numbers grew, we found that it wore a bit thin. A quick pit stop for a coffee was not the name of the game. A shiny electric kettle soon replaced ol’ copper pot and tea raced out of the kitchen. Post Haste! 

I miss that copper pot, the lack of urgency it had and the whistling calling you back. It made you grateful for the tea, the whole process relaxed and rewarding. You didn’t take it for granted and in turn it was the best cuppa! The effort made it so.

Recently I’ve noticed that life is full of these moments, drawn out and satisfying.

Using a cafetiere, rather than instant coffee. A slow Sunday walk in a flower market, 30 miles from home, rather than grabbing a bunch at the supermarket. Planting seeds to grow your own vegetables, rather than bunging it in the trolley when shopping. Cooking a chicken on the spit roast BBQ for 3 hours rather than in the oven for half that time. Tending to the coals, watching it from afar, a G&T in hand. Talking to a man, pushing his son in a buggy about coffee. A harmless and funny misunderstanding with strangers in a park. A man in the forest, walking his dog, remarking on the beautiful morning. 

He knew. He knew it was the small stuff that matters. He had to share his joy with someone. Even me, the girl with the ‘leave me alone’ face and frozen toes. 

Coffee for four

A purple flowered tea tray. 

A floral coffee cup for Mr W.

Coffee for four. Two couples who know each other but have never really spoken.

Today we went to pick up an exercise bike from family friends. They’ve known me since I was maybe 10 years old. David gave me a 3 week stint in his Chartered Surveyors business as part of my final school year work experience. It seems so long ago and just like yesterday all at the same time. I was 15 years old, with nothing but a small amount of filing under my belt and was quite young minded to boot. I learned to make tea very quickly for a busy office, having to remember each person’s likes and milk/sugar requirements. Making friends quickly with the office girls, I found my confidence and enjoyed talking with people on the phone. When I sit and think about it now, I see the merits of the school’s work experience programme.

Fast forward 18 years and Tina and David are still in my life. They’ve been to family parties and weddings and yet we’ve never sat down and just talked. When Tina and I organised a time and date for us to collect the bike; she happened to mention having a cup of tea and I automatically started worrying about what to talk about. I often think I have nothing real to offer someone in a conversation, especially if we’ve not chatted much before. 

I’ve also always really liked Tina and David. Even in passing at parties they always, always stop to say hello, they are sunshine personified in people form and I challenge anyone to walk away from a 5 minute conversation with them without the biggest grin on their face. So what if I made a complete fool of myself, with my rambling that often takes over and leaves me flustered and stumbling over my words?

As we sat talking with Tina, we spoke about their plans to head away for a few weeks to Norfolk and the mutual places we had visited in the Uk. We spoke of our plans to do the NC500 later this year and were regaled with stories on their trips to Scotland in the past. The company was so relaxed that I found myself sipping my coffee more and more slowly to prolong our time with her.  After some time, David joined us and jumped right into the conversation of travel and I felt a genuine smile lift my cheeks. Stories of motorbiking through Portugal, camping in Wild Scotland and driving through Spain. 

David spent some time biking through Portugal and there came a day that he and his companion could not find their hotel. Being such a small village, neither the residents nor local Police spoke a word of English. Bringing out his hotel confirmation, the police radioed for help and the next thing David knew, a squad car had turned up to lead them to their destination. The language barrier did not stop a human helping a human. I love stories of genuinely lovely people, and stories abroad remind me of why travel is so important to me. It always has been.

We spent only a short time together, considering how long we’ve popped in and out of each other’s lives, and it has made me realise how often we let opportunities pass just by letting anxieties control our fears. If I had shied away from the invite, I wouldn’t have learned so much about two very special people. Just by saying yes, I enjoyed talking about a mutual interest and coaxing myself out of a shell that is slowly suffocating me. 

The natural rhythm of talking about travel is why I believe it is so important to embrace it. We may not have been to the same places, but the beautiful affliction of wanting to know what’s down the road, round the corner or over the hill, brings out  the best in everyone. It’s what saw two couples, different in so many ways, spend a fascinating 2 hours together this morning. As we left, we sat in the car for the briefest minute and just smiled and acknowledged the fact that we did not want to leave. It was fascinating to sit with two people I have known for such a large part of my life and realise I genuinely did not know them at all.

Photo for this blog taken by Dave Watson.

Please check out his work on https://www.instagram.com/davewatson_uk/ or at https://davewatson1980.picfair.com/