Mud. That’s how a relationship started. A relationship that in the blink of an eye has become strong and supportive. It has seen a wedding and two births. Homes have been built and friendships have grown. All from mud.

In 2016 we moved into this house. The garden was a nightmare. Decking covered 70% of the ground and gravel covered the rest. On the decking was a huge greenhouse littered with pots and trays. The only greenery was an old castor oil plant that was sandwiched between a fence and water butt. Tell a lie, some of the odd pots that were dotted around the place had caught the odd seed from the wind and grown weeds. As someone who grew up with a huge and manicured garden I was determined to transform this concrete tip into something to be proud of.

Within a fortnight of moving in Mr W and I dismantled the greenhouse with care and removed a third of the decking. We had decided to keep the decking at the rear of the garden and turn it into a terrace for entertaining and evening meals. The decking directly outside the backdoor was perfect as a sun terrace and would also stay. So it was the portion in the middle that faced the chop and after Mr W had hilariously tried two ramshackle chainsaws on the structure, he bought a circular saw and we said goodbye to the dominating monstrosity. Underneath there was a sunken pond which caused its own issues. Within the two thick pond liners I found: an old computer monitor, a dismantled chest of drawers, lots of electrical wires, a lamp and years upon years of algae, fish shit and rain water. Imagine me, elbow deep pulling all these things out of the depths! Once emptied the void left was enormous and I spent a full day as Fred Flintstone smashing up concrete slabs from around the garden to fill the hole. Then I collected all the various sized pebbles around the garden and dumped them in. After this Mr W and I raked all the gravel into the rocky pit.

It became evident really quickly that we needed soil to level the space and as new homeowners we were keen to keep costs down, hell so far we had changed the garden with just one purchase and pure willpower. With that in mind I took to the internet to see if anyone had soil up for grabs. Thinking there was a slim chance, I fell into the realm of Gumtree for the first time. Not knowing what else to do I typed the word ‘dirt’ into the search bar. Up popped just that. 2.3 miles away!

I replied to the advert and the girl and I discussed the details. They were digging a few feet out of their garden and the dirt was free for collection. After a few delays we made a plan to pop by one evening after work for a few bags of the much needed soil. As we drove around the new neighbourhood, Mr W commented how it looked familiar. I couldn’t fathom how, he’d never been to this neck of the woods in his life. The closer we got, the more adamant he became. He knew this place. This place being the girl’s home.

After knocking on the door and being greeted by the girl’s partner we mentioned how the house seemed so familiar. Upon closer inspection I had realised the same. The guy invited us inside and to our astonishment we realised we had, just a few months earlier, wanted to buy the property. We weren’t quite ready with a deposit and had therefore let it go. And now here we were, taking the soil from the very same property for our new home. Explaining this to the two strangers we all stood in disbelief before realising we were there for a purpose.

Lined up against the house were sacks of soil. Heavy, yet crucial, we piled them into the car with thanks and drove home. That night and over the next few weeks the girl and I sent messages arranging more collections and spoke more about our lives. Being of a similar age and new homeowners made finding a common ground really easy. But we also had similar interests and senses of humour. After a few more soil pick ups we came to the point where the garden was levelled and the last pick up was on the cards. When we left with our final bounty, Mr W turned to me and said ‘Do you think we’ll stay in contact?’

That is called a turning point. On returning home we used the squeaky wheelbarrow to cart the soil to our garden over twigs and stones for the final time. I sent a message to thank the gumtree couple and asked if they would like to get together for a drink one evening. We then made a date for a meet up and talked the entire night away. That was over 6 years ago. We have become entwined in each other’s lives ever since. The guy has helped us countless times with car troubles. The girl has become my confidant. 4 years ago they joined us on our stag and hen do’s and then joined us on our wedding day. The girl read out a Pablo Neruda poem at our ceremony. The guy calmed me down as we departed for our honeymoon when I couldn’t find my handbag and wedding gift for Mr W, he stopped me and said ‘what does he need a gift for when he’s just married you.’ Sob! We have watched them become parents to two amazing boys and they have listened to our fertility troubles. We each cackle at the others jokes and build each other up in times of low confidence.

The best thing about them is how we have only ever known each other as couples. Our stories began together. There are strong individual relationships between us all and together we are a strong unit. Mr W is able to talk to the girl about business and office ethics while the guy and I can chatter non stop. There is no man/woman divide in this friendship. It is just comfortable.

The girl shares her name with another of my school friends. So I have had to tack on a nickname when differentiating between the two when I speak to my family or friends. When I utter her name, a look passes over the face of the listener. At first it’s a shock at the name and then it’s a smirk. You just know they are wondering why she is called that. And you KNOW in their mind they are coming up with their own reasoning. Is she really? And what did she do to get ‘that’ name?

The story I tell them doesn’t quench their spicy minds but it’s still a surprise to them about how pieces fell into place. They are getting married next year and we’ll be witness to the whole day. As the day draws closer, the idea of us meeting their friends and family was formed. Massively nervous we turned up and spent the best 6 hours with the nicest people you’ll ever meet. We all cackled and joked and left with our cheeks hurting. When we arrived, the girl’s stepdad said ‘Oh so you’re the Dirty two.’ Mr W and I looked at each other in astonishment. How were we known as that? No! They were called the Dirty two. Not us! They always had been. Dirty Jade and Martin. And therein started the story again.

I am so proud of this relationship. It has become well established and greatly cared for in our lives. We share our lives so freely. We spend the odd weekend in comfy clothes chowing down before watching trashy Saturday night TV with the kids. We each cook and contribute to meals. At Christmas we celebrate with each other early so we can spend the time our friendship deserves.

Much like the dirt we used to bring our garden to life, the relationship we have now is nurtured and looked after with love and care. From dirt came something organic and strong that over time has blossomed into something truly beautiful.