On the 18th of April 2021, Mr W and I started the NHS couch to 5k programme.

It’s a three times a week running programme that gradually increases the time and therefore distance you run over the space of 9 weeks.

Week 1 starts with 1 minute runs interspersed with walking to get you going, by Week 9 it aims to have you running for 30 minutes non-stop.

As of July 2021 we have completed the programme. Running for the full thirty minutes without stopping (or collapsing).

We even did it the week we spent ripping out and tiling our living room floor.

I personally have never run, I was great at hand-eye coordination sports in school but running was fucking awful. And I just felt depressed every time I went to p.e. I was that kid, the one who was picked last for sports, short, chubby and easy to ignore.

The NHS programme teaches you about breathing properly when running and that half the battle is the mind over matter challenge you face. All they said at school was ‘GO’.

I can proudly say that we didn’t stop once during the NHS couch to 5k programme, even though you can repeat the podcasts should you not feel ready, and we even laughed and talked to pass the time. Mr W also morphed into my personal cheerleader, so I quite literally couldn’t have done it without him!

Do NOT get me wrong, I cried maybe three times which is the weirdest sensation when you are running. There were many times I shouted at myself to ‘Come on, keep going’ scaring a lot of strangers along the way. We both had cramps, struggled up the stairs the day after and sweat buckets upon buckets but we didn’t give up. In the beginning, Mr W even said that if I wanted to give up I could at Week 3. Three weeks seemed like a long time to give it a chance. And yet neither of us gave up. Something about challenging yourself physically is really addictive. Fuck, did I just say that?

I am extremely unfit, I’m overweight and a bag of overwhelming anxiety and insecurities. However… And I bloody hate saying this as much as I hate reading it… But if I can do this ANYONE can.

We managed to keep running for two weeks after we finished the programme. The guidance on the app which was once very annoying was suddenly missed. The cheesy music we groaned at was yearned for. Why did our music just not work as well?

An injury stopped me from running and after weeks of resting we stopped completely. It was such a shame after 9 weeks of total dedication.

I spoke out on social media about our experience and I said the following:

‘From now on we’ll be running using our own music (thank god) and trying to up the pace and speed. And it’s honestly a part of our lives now. If you had said that to me 9 weeks ago I’d have laughed. And I did say it 9 weeks ago. I said, “Can you imagine us as those people who get up early and run…” And now we do. 7am Sundays and before dinner on Tuesday and Thursdays.

We are THOSE people. And it’s not so bad after all.’

I apologize to the person who said that 11 months ago and vow to do my best to keep at it.

We are currently repeating the programme and started week four today. It’s got my legs pumping hard and as we are exceptionally busy I’m wondering how we are fitting it in. But we are. Because it is important to us. For our health, fertility chances and to turn back time and become those people from 2021. They had direction and faced the challenge head on.

The run today felt so physically draining. We’ve had one of the busiest weeks since before lockdown 2020 and it would have been easy to just cancel the run. But we didn’t. It would have been easy to stop half way through the run and give up. But we didn’t. As I ran today, in pain and numb from the waist down, I reminded myself that the last 4 minutes of running was indeed hard. But 4 minutes in a lifetime is both nothing and yet everything. The time itself is miniscule. The challenge in those four minutes represents so much more.

I do not want to give up on the run. I do not want to give up on myself. I will not give up on our health. And I will never give up on our fertility chances.