Today’s blog is coming to you from the sofa and from the arms of a very tired person. It’s been 13 hours since I woke up and we’ve been on the go for about 12 of those. Nothing pleases me more than ticking jobs off a to-do list, the only thing is as soon as we ticked something off something else was added. You have to laugh, you really do. This will be short and sweet. It’s a thought that has been flitting through my mind, keeping me company while potting up hanging baskets and veggies. Yes, I am a geeky gardener and I love it.

I have a friend of over 20 years who has honestly had the kind of year that would see me put in an asylum. Everything that could change has or is very soon. A marriage is ending, finances are stretching beyond belief and she may have to give up her home. Add covid and a personal hope that has been shattered and, quite frankly, I’m astounded. 

Don’t get me wrong there have been wobbles, lots of tears and anger but today she is going on her first solo mini break. I can picture her now. Unsmiling, but looking out to the sea, and taking the first proper deep breath she’s taken in over a year. She is not unhappy but bracing for the next chapter in her life. I imagine what has happened to be like a book being written that had all the chapters named before the writing began. Half way through, a plot twist renders the next chapter futile. And the one after that. And after that. 

She takes another deep breath and feels pain, relief, loss and hope all at once. She is amazing. My friend is amazing.

Tonight she will lay in a strange bed looking at the ceiling. Trying to switch off her mind but inevitably thinking of the future. She is methodical but still human. There will be lots of thoughts. 

Mr W said today it’s that he feels sorry for her, not in a pitying way, but in the kind of way that someone so lovely and caring and devoted to her family and friends should never feel how she has felt in the last year. It’s the kind of sorry that makes you want to take every ounce of pain away because they could never even dream of causing that pain to others. Ever.

She is the kind of person who is there day and night. The kind of person who helps you with an emergency, She is there. Even now she is there for me. Listening to me cry and moan and scream.

Wholeheartedly, I am in awe of her. At 34 years old I thought I’d grown out of having heroes but rather than flying with a cape kind, she is the epitome of bravery. I am in complete awe of my beautiful friend. She is not letting her past define her. Her circumstance does not define her. Our choices define us. Her choice is to not give up. She can’t control her world. But she can control her reaction. She is the definition of staggeringly awe-inspiring. 

And I am so proud of her. To know her. To be a part of her story.

Photo by Dave Watson 

Please check out his work on https://www.instagram.com/davewatson_uk/ or at https://davewatson1980.picfair.com